The Four Tribes of Dykey Cyclists

a personal view by Dee

GRUNGE Voluminous, usually khaki shorts and tops are the favoured wear of these delicious girls. No helmet - that would spoil the pre-60s Retro look. I suspect from the glimpse of boyish knees and slender legs that underneath there is a slim trim body, but they do make it hard to tell. With backward facing baseball caps - oh, little darling, slow down on those hills you seem to float up - wait for me!

LYCRA The most feared and maybe envied of the tribes. Tight, tight tops with little zips at the collar. Oh, that zip stops all too soon, and the lovely breasts are remorselessly flattened by an athletic bra with lots of lycra. There are lots of other bulgy bits though, to look at as she flashes by - a gym babe with cute glutes set off by those black lycra shorts. Lead the way, honey!

THERMAL VEST & FLEECE TOP The kind of gal in this outfit swears by the mysterious 'wicking' properties, which are supposed to let the perspiration out. I always hope there's an emergency deodorant for those times when everything turns into synthetic sweaty sogginess. In fact members of this tribe are nearly always 'bi' in the sporty sense, as they are nearly always walkers (or 'trekkers' as the ones using sticks would term it) as well as cyclists.

COTTON T wearers are sensible, cheerful women, relaxed, friendly and kind - and surprisingly sexy, underneath. There's a slight tendency for the older ones to have graying Ts with messages like: 'Stop Reagan's blood money contra war with Nicaragua'; but really, you couldn't make a top like that into a floor cloth or duster, could you? It has to be worn.
These are the ones for the long haul, pushing their bikes alongside you up hill, sharing their last avocado butty; and in relationships, it'll lead to quiet retirement together in a country cottage.
But in a metropolitan setting, beware - because: a wine-tasting, party or theatre visit, she'll always be snug in her fleece - she has no other clothes!

Dee